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Sep 10

Uncle Mike sent me this colorful diary for my birthday. Yesterday I clocked ten. Happy birthday to me!

Sep 11

I shall name you Precious, after… *wink* you know who hahaha…

I’ll write something here every night before I sleep.

Sep 12

This Christmas Uncle Mike is coming home, after three years! I told him I want an e-bike for Christmas. He said they are expensive and would put a deep hole in his pocket. Afterward, Ma asked what an e-bike was. An e-bike is an electric bicycle that runs on battery, so you don’t have to pedal all the way. Douglas has one, his dad bought it for him when he traveled to the US last October, and it’s so cool! Audu has one too, but Audu’s is fake because it was bought in Nigeria, and seriously, Audu’s bike sounds like creaky furniture all the time, plus it’s not as fast as Douglas’. Douglas doesn’t know how much his dad got it. But can it be that expensive? Uncle Mike said he’d get it for me if I obey Ma always and if I come first in my exams.

Sep 14

Uncle Mike’s been transferred to a new location, that’s why he has more time to call. When he comes, I shall ask him to take me back with him. I wish to have travelled the world by twenty-one. So help me God.

Sep 16

Pascal beat me. He said Uncle Mike works as a cleaner in a factory and I told him he was selling zobo, so he came and knocked me on the head. Mtcheew! Just because he’s older, he thinks he can treat me anyhow. He’s just being jealous that he does not have any Uncle to bring him gifts from overseas. Next time Uncle Mike calls, l shall report Pascal.

Sep 20

Took Precious to school today. Chiji noticed that I named my diary Precious, he showed Audu, Maks and Ibe, they all lolled. Precious is the new girl in class and she’s so cute! I hope she knows I like…

Sep 21

Ma keeps teasing Uncle Mike that she’ll get him a wife when he comes. I wonder if it will be aunt Fibere or Nancy. I think she should leave Uncle Mike alone.

Sep 23

Read about Morse code, but didn’t understand it, so I’ve come up with my own code so that if anyone picks up my diary, they’ll not understand it

Key:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Z Y X W V U T S R Q P O M N L K J I H G F E D C B A

E.g., Fejiro = UVQRIN

Forget not!

Sep 24

LJVXRMFH smiled at me in class today! My stomach is fluttering like a hummingbird. Douglas says I should buy her a gift. I shall buy her a pack of digestive biscuits tomorrow.

Sep 25

She accepted it. Yiiiiiiiiii!

Oct 1

Remember that October when Uncle Mike took me to the shopping Mall for ice cream and lemonade? Boy! I miss those times. Oh and those evening walks before he travelled to XZMAWA… Happy Independence day!

Oct 2

LJVXRMFH stopped looking in my direction. Don’t know what I did. Sad!

Oct 5

Learnt new word: ASAP — As Soon As Possible. Still thinking whether to pronounce it A-SAP or A-S-A-P. Duh.

Oct 7

School’s been boring! Ma got a new phone. I want my bike ASAP. Where’s Uncle Mike!!

Oct 11

Ma’s been telling Uncle Mike to scold me because I play too much. But I don’t, do I? Just because I go with Chiji and Audu to play football…

Oct 12

I felt the harmattan wind today. The weather was so dry and hot!! I think I prefer the rainy season more though.

Oct 20

Loads of homework. What idiot invented homework anyway?

Nov 1

LJVXRMFH still not talking to me. Argh!

Nov 3

Been tough filling these pages. Argh!! What did I do to this gal? Still not talking to me. Doug says maybe I shouldn’t have bought biscuits. Gosh! What to do now?

Nov 5

Heard the first knockout sound today. Bang! Bang! Hahaha. I shall start saving so that I can buy me some. N.B. The nights are getting really cold plus so much dust everywhere. This harmattan eh…

Nov 11

Finished writing tests today. Exams in a bit! Read UVQRIN, read! Get that bike at all costs! Grrrh!

New word: generous-abundant in supply

Nov 12

Why doesn’t Uncle Mike call anymore??? He’s not as generous as he used to be with calls. I sent him a message on Ma’s Whatsapp. Need to speak with him ASAP.

Nov 13

Good fortune! LJVXRMFH asked me to teach her Algebra. Then we sat and studied together. Her hair smells generously of lavender. She’s brilliant too!

Nov 14

Too tired to read tonight… how I miss LJVXRMFH … *cuddle*

Nov 15

Dreamt that I was riding my bike with LJVXRMFH on the saddle behind me, holding me tight as we sailed, the wind in our faces. I shall tell Uncle Mike to buy an e-bike with a big saddle so that LJVXRMFH can ride with me.

Nov 17

Ma’s birthday today. Sang her ‘Mother is an angel’. Love you Mama!

Nov 22

Exams begin on Monday. Been reading my butt off! First position belongs to me, not Chiji, not Kevin. Game on!

Nov 29

Wrote two papers today. Tired.

Dec 7

Finished exams. Whoo! Results out on Monday. My heart is doing gbi gbi gbi! It must be me o! I will pray when I go to Church on Sunday.

Dec 11

Been ill. Better now. Ma wouldn’t let me go to school since we’ve finished exams. We decorated the house, put Christmas lights everywhere. I sliced up shiny wrappers and put them generously on the wall. Ma likes it.

Dec 12

Went to see Audu’s new Chihuahua pet. His dad buys him a lot of things even though he keeps spoiling them. I’ll keep my bike safe. Promise.

Dec 13

Why is Christmas represented by Santa and snow? There’s neither snow nor Santa here. Duh. We need our own ideas.

Dec 14

Yippee! I came first with 79.3%! Chiji second and LJVXRMFH third! Who’d have thought… hahaha Kevin, in your face!

Uncle Mike has set the date he’s coming. Dec 24. Yep, my biiiike!

Dec 15

School closed today! I’ll get more time to write here more often. LJVXRMFH and I have exchanged two letters. I won’t tell you what she wrote to me. Oh… *swoons*

New word: Ample-quite large in capacity.

Dec 19

Phew! It’s been four days since I wrote here. Ma gave me a treat. We went to ButterCity. Then we went to Grandpa’s. Gramps has an ample garden! Ate a lot of cucumbers and garden eggs… Ma says it’s impolite to fart in the presence of others, but Grandpa farts always and interestingly it doesn’t stink. Ma gave me a knock on the head when I tried it.

Dec 22

Ma says bad weather is delaying Uncle Mike’s flight and maybe they’ll reschedule for tomorrow. At Church, I said a prayer for Uncle Mike.

Dec 23

Christmas is coming… *dancing* Ma has bought two big chickens and a big bowl of rice. Yum!

Dec 24

Ah! The aroma of chicken and stew, and all the excitement in the air. Ruby FM has been playing Boney M on the stereo all day! Loving it!

This Christmas is special because Uncle Mike is coming and I’m getting my Biiiiiike! Yasss!

Dec 25

Merry Christmas! Uncle Mike is coming tomorrow!

Ma took me and Pascal to Church with her. She said it is good to go to Church on Christmas day. The priest preached that Christmas is a season when we were generously given a precious gift from God which we don’t deserve and that’s why we are celebrating. But why would you give someone something they don’t deserve. I guess it’s like Audu and his dad… I need a dad like that.

Dec 26

Uncle Mike called. He’s at the airport in Lagos doing some clearance. Can he just send the bicycle ahead already? He’d better be here ASAP. Happy boxing day!

Dec 27

There’s been a change of plans. Uncle Mike is with Ndu’s dad in Lagos. Why are they delaying him sef?

Dec 28

Uncle Mike took the first bus this morning. That’s why I’m writing this now cos I won’t get a chance to when he comes… I’ll be vrooming my bike all over the place. Vroom! Vroom!

Dec 29

Uncle Mike came home with only a small bag. His cloth was torn and dirty. Ma said he was robbed on the way, that the robbers took everything. Including his passport and documents. Very sad. How will he return now? What sort of Christmas is this?

Dec 30

No presents, no bike. Gosh! Only thing is Precious and I got to hang out. She said everything would be fine. I hope so.

Dec 31

The bicycle is far better than I imagined! Uncle Mike and Ma planned it. They kept Uncle Mike’s luggage somewhere and made it look like he had been robbed. I was too sad to see between the lines, all the whispers and phone calls… Even Pascal knew!

About 12 noon, Uncle Mike said to go buy him a bar of soap which he could use to wash his dirty clothes. When I returned, there it was in the living room, all shiny and beautiful. Yiiiiiiiiii!

My bike’s like a bullet. Vroom! Vroom! Oh, and there’s an extra seat!

Gotta go now! Love you Precious!

Happy New Year!

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